No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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