you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
