Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
