you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
