Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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