I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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