dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
