she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
