Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
