Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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