i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
