So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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