1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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