is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
