I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
