Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This is the high leading the old right now
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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