I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
