Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I feel great
I just peed on a car
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
