for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
