Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
