Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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