I hate all girls vehemently.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
