After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
