I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
