The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize