Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
