Sry I called you an 8
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
