god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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