last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize