She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
