Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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