I wish I could teleport
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
