This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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