I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize