he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
