Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize