i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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