Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
