the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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