Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
