he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
