my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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