No awkward lesbian experiences without me
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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