yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
