he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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