Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
