proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
