I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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