Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
