u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
