i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
