my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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