My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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