I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
