Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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