i already hear my dad disowning me
i would punch a child for taco bell
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
